1,2,3,4,5...............6

Day's have slowly gone by. Spring break, yeah, not as cool as I originally thought. I mean waking up at 11 every morning, is great. Not having to take the bus to school, is great. No homework, is indeed great. But missing my friends, and not seeing them, has taken it's toll. One, doesn't have a phone, one has a controlling mother, one is in Italy, one has taken the week off to be with her mind twin, and another, mine, has dropped off the face of the planet. Not that I blame him. At all. I have kind of done the same thing. But in his absence, I realize how much I do actually miss him. I also realize how much, that we will never be, or work. I've leaned this from 6 days apart.

Always Him.

It's always about him isn't it? Every time I try to write something profound, it always comes back to him. I think I am okay with that, but I don't know...well I do. I am fine with talking about him, all the time in fact. I know it bugs my cousin, who is my best friend, but she says she likes it, or that it is her job. I can't help but think that's not the case. I listen to her, but she hasn't had any drama for me to listen to lately. I feel as though he makes me forget my life, and forget her sometime. I hate that part, the part about forgetting her. She is my other half. We share a soul. He is me in a different body. We share a mind. So what do I do? I can't forget him. (Trust me, you have no idea how hard I have tried...) And I would never even want to forget her. She is more important to me, but he........................ugh. I can't even think. I miss him. I haven't seen or talked to him since Thursday. I know, I know, what a long time.....sure. Still, things again have me thinking that here may be a chance for an, "Us". Yet, I don't want to get my hopes up as I did last time, only to have them dashed before me and broken. I don't handle rejection. Especially from him. I can't let my heart get hurt again. It's still recovering from the last time. I've made enough moves for him to see I really like him. Now I over think things, and wait. Always wait.