Patheticly Hopeless

I'm ashamed for my sad, and melancholy tone. I am sorry, for being a pathetic person. I am quick to recover from emotional blows. Yet, I think on the "What might have been" and that hold me back from completely forgetting. I've been told that that kind of painful, and hopeful wondering is a kind of closure. It hurts. I fell like I have been forgotten. I know I really haven't, and I have my friends who adore me. I just miss he emotional high that I used to get every time I saw, or talked to him. I hate this!!! *sigh of indignation* I hate being so dependent on someone to make me happy. Why can't I just make myself happy? Well..........there are ways, but really. So I spend my weeks in an unresponsive trace. my friends ask me if I am okay, but I can't say I am. I'm just to much of a thinker. I know that I never wan to be forgotten, and it feels as if I have.